In His Fullness

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Our newest audio book Another Kind of Love explores the topic of deep male friendships and the often misunderstood feelings that come along with them. We have developed a paper that serves as a precursor to the book and also includes much of the theological and psychological basis for Re-Trek.

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If you would like a sample reading from the paper, continue to scroll down.

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“The Another Kind of Love Paper helped me to understand on an intellectual level while the audio book met me on a deep emotional level. To hear two men talk about what my heart had been longing for brought me to tears.”

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To purchase Another Kind of Love and have it shipped to an international locale please e-mail us at inhisfullness@yahoo.com with the number of books you would like to purchase along with your mailing address. We will send you a specifc quote via e-mail factoring in the international shipping costs.

Sample Reading

“Another Kind of Love”

Distinct types as well as distinct levels of attraction appear to be prevalent in most relationships. These are emotional attraction, physical attraction, and sexual attraction.

Positive emotional attraction can best be defined by the sentence, “I feel good when I am in the company of this person.” One may not be able to explain the reason for this any more than one can explain a preference of chocolate over vanilla ice cream. It simply is a positive feeling that makes one feel good. Although one might be able to give such logical reasons as similar interests or personality characteristics, the fact remains that in spite of this rationale, a positive sense of well-being and connection exists.

Negative emotional attraction is just the opposite. One feels estranged and a lack of connection with another person irrespective of any logical explanation. No matter how hard one tries, an emotional bond or connection between the individuals does not occur.

Physical attraction is the second type of attraction experienced between two people. Positive physical attraction is related to the sense of well-being a person experiences on a physical (as opposed to emotional) level. This includes a desire to be with another person, to hang out together, and to engage in activities that involve physical contact. This might include a desire to participate together in sports, to engage in horseplay, touch, and even holding. While a person with positive physical attraction toward another may sense a desire for intimate bodily contact, this desire is NOT of a sexual nature.

Negative physical attraction, of course, is the converse of positive physical attraction. The person has little desire to be in the presence of another and even less desire to engage in physical contact of any sort.

Finally, as sexual beings, we must address the sexual attraction we often feel toward another person. This attraction can be either positive or negative. Similar to the other attractions it can be measured on a scale of 0 to 10.

Positive sexual attraction is experienced in the form of heart palpitations, sweaty palms, weak knees, nervousness, and genital arousal. It is important to note that some of these same physical manifestations may be experienced with both emotional and physical attractions as well. What sets sexual attraction apart from the other two types of attraction is an added element of conscious intention or motive on the part of the individual to act on emotional and physical sensations and carry them into a sexual realm.

It is important here to emphasize that we do not believe a person has control over his or her emotions, and seldom can he or she control physical manifestations related to either emotional or physical attraction. For men, this includes erections. Nevertheless, we do believe a person has control over the way he or she responds to varying types of attraction within a relationship. In short, we believe it is as difficult for a person to stop feelings of happiness as it is to stop a desire to be in the physical presence of another. Similarly, we believe a person has no control over the way his or her body responds to another person, even if the physical manifestations include feelings we customarily associate with sexual arousal. We do believe, however, that it is possible for an individual to choose whether to act or not to act on these feelings with respect to an intention of engaging in sexual behavior. More about sexual behavior will be forthcoming,

To conclude this section, negative sexual attraction is generally something that is not felt. In other words, none of the aforementioned physical manifestations occur and no sexual motive exists.

Copyright © Lance Hastings & Jared Feria 2007

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