At times, I feel that my faith tank is running low. I have been honest that at times, I get anxious.
As my last day at work is nearing, I had mixed emotions causing me to be anxious. I am sad that I am leaving my current job; I am happy that I am looking forward to something new from God; being worried about coming out of my comfort zone and the worst, me getting my brain overworked because of the waiting.
Many times, God has put us into waiting. And to be honest, I am a person who is not really good at waiting. I remembered when I was in college if a friend of mine is late by few minutes, I would leave her and would send her a message to catch up at school. Two weeks back, I was in Manila and living in a country where convenience is a necessity, I find absurd to stay in the queue for 30 minutes only to get an answer as No. I have been tested on waiting, again and again, and most of the time, I failed the test. And God is putting me again on another waiting season in my life. I wonder how other people do it; do they get anxious too? Do they overthink? At times, I wonder why I can’t wait gracefully and faithfully. I wonder why my brain acts up and kept me awake at night over the things that I have already placed in God’s hands as if I have any control over those things.
Then last Sunday, the preacher brought us to the scripture in Hebrews 11:11. Sarah, though she had struggled at her own faith, she was considered to be a person of faith. Not by her own merit; not because she has her faith in full-tank but because her faith rested to God who made the promise and she considered and judged God as ”Faithful”. This encouraged me to go on and wait upon the Lord, to have more faith again; to fill up my faith tank again by celebrating His goodness and mercy because my God who is the author and perfecter of our faith, is Faithful. I will keep trusting God that He will answer me in His perfect time; not on the time, I deemed fit. For indeed, God has made everything beautiful in His time (Ecclesiastes 3:11).