The irony of it all, when I have started writing regarding the word Wait, then I received an answer from the Lord which is No. I am sure it was God that woke me up very early this morning – when I am supposed to pray and look up and wait for my answer expectantly. Instead, I received an answer of No. My thoughts raced like flashes of light of what to do. Then my spirit told me, “Thank God”. I kept repeating the words:
In everything give thanks. The Lord is good all the time – my God is all-powerful and an all-loving God.
And then I cried. I am now back to zero but still, I prayed and open my window curtains and literally look out at the horizon. This is not the first time I have received a No from the Lord – to be honest, this is the second time I received a No from Him on the same prayer. But the truth is, God is still Faithful whatever the outcome of our prayers and nothing can compare to His promise I have in Him.
In dealing with the answer No – I always look up at the scriptures about hope, His faithfulness. Meditate on those words and I tune my spirit what God has to say. I was brought to the words of Paul to the church in Rome:
5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us (Romans 5:5)
What an encouragement that whatever hope I have placed in His hand, though I have been waiting for it for over a year now, I know that hope will not be put to shame – not because I twisted God’s hands to give me that blessing. God will not put that hope to shame because of His great love – His love is more than enough for me. My heart may grow tired, my eyes may turn puffed, but His love and power and mercies are never-ending, never failing and never changing.
Another way I deal with God’s No is by surrounding myself with Christians that will uplift my spirit and give the encouragement I needed. In my case, it is difficult – my family is not here; and sometimes, I couldn’t bear my heart to the people near me because I don’t want them to think that I am being emotional and needy and pessimist. I am not like that. But I thank God for my biological family and few prayer partners that when things happened like this, they will give me scriptures to ponder on. The theme of their encouragements are almost the same – if I think this is good for me, then God has something better for me for He is good. Then my dad reminded me of one of my life verses:
5 I have been young, and now am old,
yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken
or his children begging for bread. (Psalm 37:25)
And while I nursed my broken heart, I always put myself into the spirit of singing – I listen to the songs that speak of God’s greatness in my life. As of the moment, I have been listening to the song More Than Enough of JPCC, on repeat – the very same song that I was playing when I received the first No this year. I know that one day, I will understand why He said No again, just like I understood why He said No the very first time. I may be overwhelmed right now, but truly, His grace will overflow in my life.